Steak, Eggs and Honor
by Prisoner 24601
Summary: KoTOR Oneshot. Shortly after the escape from Taris, Canderous and Bastila have a conversation over breakfast.


This was originally written as a non voting entry for the Odd Couple Dueling Circle Challenge #24 "Little Moments" over on kotorfanmedia. I'm currently in the process of moving some of my stuff over here, so I apologize to those of you that have already seen this for spamming your inbox with alerts of things you've already read.

**Steak, Eggs and Honor**

Bastila stood in the common room doorway trying to summon all of the patience and serenity her years of Jedi training ought to have given her. It proved elusive however, because each time she thought she'd had her irritation under control, the powerful smell of grease and burned meat would hit her like an unexpected kick in the gut.

Her morning had started out badly. The stolen _Ebon Hawk_ was much larger than small, dank apartment on Taris, and Bastila had thought that living with the others would become much easier. Unfortunately, that hope had been shattered when the former Dark Lord of the Sith had selfishly hogged the starboard side fresher for over an hour that morning. That combined with how Bastila seemed to trip over Mission's belongings every time she turned around and how the port fresher had contained a smelly, wet and roaring Wookiee had made her morning complete. And just when she'd finally settled into a corner of the ship not occupied by beeping droids or paranoid Republic pilots sending her suspicious glares, the stink of charred nerf stakes had barreled down the hall to the cargo bay, breaking all of her meditative concentration.

It was too much to tolerate. Something had to be done.

So, wrinkling her nose as though that would somehow rid of the foul stench that was threatening to take over the entire ship, Bastila glared at the idiot who had interrupted her morning meditation.

Canderous, shirtless, barefoot and clenching a burning cigarra in his teeth, stabbed one of the thick, greasy slabs of meat sizzling in the pan with a combat knife and flipped it over. Before she could demand for him to cease and desist his stench creating activities, Canderous snatched a small hand towel off of the counter and tossed it at her. Bastila caught it out of the air before it hit her in the face.

Delicate eyebrows shot skyward, and Bastila's hands clenched into a fist around the towel. "And what, exactly, is this for?"

"To wipe the drool from your chin." He turned towards her, presumably to show off his massive hair and scar covered chest. His muscles didn't make much of an impact though; Bastila was too distracted by her irritation.

Because she was sputtering in outrage, it took her a couple of seconds before she could manage to spit out, "I was _not_ staring!"

"Sure you weren't." Canderous grabbed his beer off the counter next to the stove and took a long pull before turning back to charring the meat and eggs.

Bastila grimaced and couldn't help but blurt out, "Do you even realize how unsanitary it is to cook without a shirt on?"

He ignored her protests, instead vigorously poking at the eggs with his knife. "Look, princess, you're a Jedi, and I realize that you've probably never seen a real man before. Go ahead and take your time. Get your eyeful while you can."

She tipped her chin up and tried not to sputter. "You are not even remotely attractive to me, Canderous."

His amused laugh came out as a low rumble. "Don't get your panties in a twist. Prissy Jedi princesses aren't my type. Not even your impressive rack makes up for the way you walk around like you've got a lightsaber shoved up your ass."

Bastila couldn't stop the embarrassed flush that crept across her cheeks. She knew that she should take the high ground and not retaliate, maybe even make a tactical retreat, but the idea of being run off by this lout was absolutely galling. So she marched over to the storage crates in order to find something suitably healthy for breakfast.

"At least I am not an ignorant Mandalorian thug working for a second rate scumbag. I thought Mandalorians were supposed to believe in honor."

Canderous's amused rumble turned into a snarl. For a second, she though he might start attack her right there, but instead a vicious stab of his knife skewered the meat in the pan.

"Don't talk about what you don't understand. The only Jedi with Mandalorian honor was Revan, and he's dead."

Bastila was rather proud of the fact that she managed to contain her shock at that statement to only a surprised blink. The nearly reverent way he spoke Revan's name was extremely troubling. There was a childish part of her that wanted to retaliate, to point out his ignorance and inform him that Minuet Avery Revan was alive, female, and from what she could tell from the force bond, currently agonizing over the galaxy shattering decision of which color to paint her toenails.

"Good. Then if you dislike Jedi so much, then you won't have any reason to stay on Dantooine," Bastila snapped as she stalked over to one of the storage cabinets, jerked it open and began to forage for something appropriately healthy to eat. Bastila was surprised at how well stocked it was until she realized that Davik had been preparing to leave Taris himself.

Just the thought of what had happened to Taris made her stomach churn. It was best to focus on the future that she could actually affect and not how an entire planet had died because of her.

She nearly dropped the box of Rodian Instant Bran Flakes and jar of cloudberries she's just found when he said, "You're not that lucky, Princess. I'm not going anywhere."

"Why not?" she demanded as she stalked over to the table and staked her claim, slamming her bowl onto the table, instantly regretting her show of temper. "There is no reason for you to stay."

Unless, she realized, there was something going on between him and Revan. Bastila knew from the force bond she shared with Revan that the woman inexplicably found this man attractive, but she hadn't thought it had progressed beyond Revan ogling the Mandalorian's broad shoulders when she thought he wasn't looking. Whether it was mere camaraderie and friendship or something potentially beyond that, this man was most certainly a terrible influence on Revan. Allowing him to stay around was not only foolhardy, but also extremely dangerous.

He cracked his knuckles, and bared his teeth at her. "Wrong. I've got a job, Princess. Avery hired me to guard her while she does whatever it is that she was hired by your Jedi to do."

Bastila mentally cursed the cover story implanted in Revan's mind. Hiring Revan as a freelance archaeologist and treasure hunter had given the woman a false sense of autonomy. Unfortunately, it had been a necessary evil when the other attempts to plant more obedient histories in her mind had backfired horribly.

Bastila sniffed, and tried to cool her temper by focusing on counting out the proper number berries for her cereal and making sure they had an even distribution throughout the flakes. "That's just not acceptable. The Council will never allow it. We hired her to look at some ruins for us–"

"And she hired me to watch that tight little ass she flaunts everywhere. If you've got a problem with that, take it up with her." He jerked his thumb towards the doorway, before turning back to the stove. Apparently finished charring his food, Canderous dumped the greasy contents of the pan onto a plate. "Just let me know when you do, 'cause I want to watch."

While she had every intention of speaking to Revan if it came down to that, Bastila thought it would be better if she could avoid that confrontation entirely, especially since Revan was already unhappy with her and stubbornly disinclined to listen to anything she had to say. So instead, she appealed to his mercenary greed.

"If it is money you require, the Jedi Council will make sure that you are well compensated for your," Bastila paused, groping for a diplomatic way to describe stealing Davik's ship, "services on Taris. Very well compensated; twice what she offered you. However, I suspect that the Jedi Council will be less inclined to pay you if you are interfering in our mission."

She was completely caught off guard by the wave of anger that pulsed from him, and it was obvious to her Jedi senses that she'd offended him deeply. It was the last reaction she had expected from a man who was, until very recently, Davik's thug.

He slammed his plate of food down on the counter with a loud clatter and stalked over to the table. Canderous's clenched his teeth so hard on his cigarra that she half expected it to be bitten in half. He looked like he wanted to throttle her, but instead he rested his knuckles on the table as he loomed over her. She had to admit that it was rather intimidating, even to a force user like her, but she refused to show any fear, instead maintaining her cool indifference as she looked calmly back up at him.

When he spoke, his voice came out in a low, tight growl. "Are you trying to bribe me, Jedi?"

"I am offering to pay you. You are a mercenary. Is it really that surprising?"

In a slow, deliberate motion he took the cigarra out of his clenched teeth and stubbed it out in the middle of her bowl of cereal. The lit end went out with a hiss. Iron grey eyes, glinting with pent up fury, met her own. Bastila tried not to shiver, but her hand moved closer to the lightsaber clipped to her belt.

"Since you don't know me, princess, I'm going to give you a free pass this time. But the next time you insult my honor, I'm going to give you an ass kicking that you might not survive."

With that, he stalked back to the counter, snatched up his beer and breakfast and stalked out of the cargo bay. As he rounded the corner and disappeared, Bastila let out the breath that she didn't know she was holding.

Clearly trying to pay him off had backfired horribly, and Bastila realized that she's probably only made matters worse. It was time to appeal to Revan's better judgment, which was hardly a comforting thought as she wasn't entirely sure Revan even had better judgment. Still, something had to be done about it, so squaring her shoulders, Bastila rose disposed of her ruined breakfast, and went off to find Revan, hoping to force her to see reason.


End file.
